It’s true that a positive mindset is associated with “positive emotions” and good mental health. However, negative” thinking is not necessarily associated with poor mental health – at least not all negative thinking. This article discusses some of the pitfalls of always trying to “look on the bright side” as well as some of the benefits of “negative” thinking and emotion.
Encouragement to “think positively,” “let that go,” “don’t think that [negative] way,” etc. is everywhere. Most of the time, this advice is delivered by well-intentioned people who want another person to “feel better.” Nothing wrong with that, right? The intention behind this advice isn’t bad, the problem is that there is no evidence regarding the effectiveness of simply telling someone to think/feel differently. Moreover, it is often delivered (or sought) when someone has experienced a negative event or is going through something difficult. In these instances, “negative” thoughts/emotions are completely normal.
It would not be healthy to feel “good” (or even neutral) following a challenging event like a breakup, job loss, death of a loved one, etc. Support in the form of statements like, “You’ll get over it;” “time will heal;” and “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” tend not to be helpful when the feelings are raw. Furthermore, the problem with encouraging people to “think positively” is that it creates the expectation that we can (and should) “change our minds” about the event, and if we can’t, there must be something wrong with us. It invalidates normal, healthy (even if difficult) emotions like grief, sadness, and hurt. Instead of letting these feelings come and go like waves (and learning to surf them), people feel compelled to “get over them” and “make them go away.”
Let’s take another example of a difficult emotion that gets a very bad rap: regret. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that people should “live without regrets” or some such mantra. Let me tell you what I think the world would be like without regret. No one would remember that saying/doing something hurtful/harmful caused someone else pain. So, we wouldn’t think twice about doing it again. Regret tells me, “What I did was wrong; I should try to make amends; and I shouldn’t do it again.” If I let myself feel regret and hear the “negative” thoughts associated with it, I am motivated to act in a positive way.
Not only are some “negative” thoughts and emotions appropriate in certain situations, but it is important to recognize that even generally happy people have numerous negative thoughts nearly every day of their life. The reason is that the human brain is wired to think in ways that could be seen as “negative”. Two examples are social comparison and threat detection. From an evolutionary perspective, these “instinctive” types of thinking are adaptive. Detecting threats keeps a person safe. Social referencing helps a person learn ways to connect (or, in some instances compete) with others. Taken to an extreme, these forms of thinking can contribute to various anxiety disorders, but within a “healthy” range, they are completely normal. The difference between a healthy/happy person’s negative thoughts and those of someone who may be in need of professional support is that the happy/healthy person doesn’t dwell on them in ways that make difficult situations and unpleasant emotions even worse. The truth is that nobody has exclusively positive thoughts, and trying to expel all negative thoughts is utterly unrealistic.
Human emotions have the purpose and power to guide our behaviour, helping us to act in alignment with our values. Sometimes, the “negative” emotions are the most powerful. The key is to learn to tolerate them, listen to what they say (those are the “negative” thoughts), and take appropriate action. Negative thoughts are only problematic when they are unrelenting (i.e., when they feel like a runaway train that keeps gathering speed and picking up momentum), when they are disproportionate (i.e., when they are louder/meaner than they ought to be given the circumstance), and / or when they result in negative emotion that interferes with functioning.
If negative thinking is so pronounced that it impairs a person’s ability to notice and enjoy pleasurable things in their environment, causes immense pain and suffering, or leads them to find threat around every corner, therapy can help them to learn skills such as mindfulness, reframing, reprocessing, and more that help to shift thinking in a more functional/adaptive direction. The goal, however, will not be to teach them how to think positively all the time and be rid of negative thoughts and emotions forever. Visit www.eckertcentre.com and click the appointment button to book with one of our therapists for support.
Jason is a Registered Psychologist with nearly 20 years of experience counselling adults and adolescents with a variety of concerns. Areas of specialization include anxiety, AD/HD, identity development, relationship issues, depression and self-esteem. In addition to counselling services, Jason conducts assessments with learners of all ages. He makes a unique contribution to the Centre through his skill in career assessments.
