Motherhood is often portrayed as a blissful, life-changing experience filled with snuggles, smiles, and unforgettable “firsts.” And yes, there’s beauty in it. But if you’re feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’ve lost pieces of yourself in the process you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just living the full, complex truth of becoming a mother.
This blog is real talk for new moms. The kind that doesn’t sugarcoat things or ask you to “just be grateful.” Because, while joy may be part of your journey, so are grief, fear, and confusion. And you deserve a space to feel it all without guilt or shame.
At Eckert Centre, we believe the emotional rollercoaster of early motherhood is not only normal, but also worthy of compassion, support, and care. Let’s talk about what no one else is saying out loud and offer you practical ways to navigate this season with more self-understanding and less self-judgment.
Motherhood Is Beautiful—and It’s Also Really Hard
Even when you’ve dreamed of becoming a mother for years, the experience can still take your breath away and not always in the ways you imagined. You may be deeply in love with your baby, and at the same time, grieving your former life, identity, or independence.
The transition to motherhood is one of the biggest psychological shifts a person can undergo. It comes with physical exhaustion, emotional overload, and a complete rearrangement of your priorities, schedule, and self. You may ask yourself: Who am I now? or Why do I feel so disconnected from the person I used to be?
These feelings are not a sign that something is wrong with you. They are a sign that something big is happening to you.
You’re Allowed to Feel It All
You can love your baby and still feel sad, frustrated, or lonely. You can feel grateful and still miss your freedom. These mixed emotions, this emotional duality, isn’t something to fix. It’s something to honor.
You may hear well-meaning comments like, “At least your baby is healthy,” or “Soak up every moment.” But these can dismiss your very real emotions. Feeling conflicted doesn’t mean you’re not thankful. It means you’re human and becoming a mother is a profound transformation.
When you allow yourself to feel both joy and grief, you’re not being negative. You’re being honest. And that honesty lays the foundation for healing, connection, and long-term wellbeing.
What the Research Says: Your Emotional Health Matters for Both You and Your Baby
Taking care of your emotional well-being isn’t just important for you, it gently shapes your child’s development, too. A study by Prenoveau et al. (2017) found that when mothers experience postnatal depression or anxiety, it can be linked to greater emotional sensitivity and behavioral challenges in their children by age two. This research reminds us of the deep and tender connection between a mother’s mental health and her child’s emotional world and the importance of support, compassion, and care for both.
In short: when you take care of your emotional world, you’re also taking care of your baby’s emotional world. Emotional awareness doesn’t make you “too sensitive.” It makes you attuned, empathetic, and better equipped to navigate the highs and lows of parenting.
So, if you’ve been tempted to stuff your feelings down or tell yourself to “get over it,” consider this permission to feel it instead.
Why Society’s “Perfect Mom” Standard Is Hurting Us
In today’s culture, there’s intense pressure to “have it all together” to look put-together, keep the house in order, maintain your career, and raise a thriving child without missing a beat. This pressure can be overwhelming, and it’s also deeply unfair. Dr. Sophie Brock refers to this as the Perfect Mother Myth (2022), and it is just that, a myth.
Social media often adds to the problem, feeding you images of glowing moms who make motherhood look effortless. But behind those curated snapshots are women just like you and I, feeling tired, unsure, and emotionally stretched at times.
The narrative that you must be endlessly joyful to be a good mom is not only unrealistic, but also harmful. At Eckert Centre, we regularly support mothers who are navigating the emotional toll of these expectations. We’re here to say: you don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not.
Practical Ways to Cope With the Highs and Lows of Motherhood
Motherhood will always have its highs and lows. Here are a few ways to ride the emotional waves with more self-compassion:
1. Name What You’re Feeling
Take a moment each day to check in with yourself. Ask: What am I feeling right now? Naming an emotion like “sad,” “anxious,” or “disconnected” can make it feel less overwhelming. Remember, emotions are messengers, not threats.
2. Write It Out or Speak It Out
Journaling can be a powerful release, even if it’s just a few scribbled lines on your phone at 3 AM. If writing isn’t your thing, try talking out loud to a friend, your partner, or a therapist. Your thoughts deserve space outside your mind.
3. Find a Safe Place to Be Real
Whether it’s a mom group, a trusted friend, or therapy, you need people who can hold space for your full experience. You don’t need advice or solutions all the time, sometimes, you just need to be heard.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
You are not lazy. You are healing, adjusting, and giving of yourself 24/7. Let yourself nap, say no, leave the dishes, or ask for help. Rest isn’t a weakness, it’s necessary.
5. Speak Kindly to Yourself
If you’re beating yourself up for not doing more, stop and ask: Would I say this to another mom I love? If not, it doesn’t belong in your self-talk either. Self-compassion is a skill—and like any skill, it gets stronger with practice.
6. Gentle Movement and Nutrition
A short walk, stretching, or nourishing food can have a calming effect on both mind and body. Even small steps count.
7. Limit Social Media Comparison
Curate your feed to include supportive, realistic content. Remember that everyone's motherhood journey looks different.
8. Engage in Moments of Connection
Making gentle eye contact, cuddling, and singing to your baby helps build emotional attunement, even on hard days.
Who You Were Still Matters—And Who You’re Becoming Is Beautiful
One of the most tender parts of new motherhood is mourning the version of yourself that existed before your baby arrived. You might miss your career rhythm, your independence, your sleep, or simply your sense of ease in the world.
That grief is real. And it's not a betrayal of your child to feel it. It's simply your heart making space for a new identity, one that includes both who you were and who you’re becoming.
As Millwood (2021) notes, this emotional evolution isn’t a detour—it’s the path. When you embrace the messy, beautiful duality of motherhood, you create room for authenticity, connection, and growth.
You Deserve Support—Not Just for Your Child, But for Yourself
If you're struggling in this season, please know you don’t have to carry it alone. At Eckert Centre, we understand the emotional complexity of motherhood, and we’re here to help you feel seen, supported, and grounded.
Whether you’re coping with postpartum changes, navigating identity shifts, or just need space to breathe, our team is ready to support you with therapy that honors your unique story.
You matter. Your emotions matter. And we are here to walk alongside you.
Contact Eckert Centre Today
Call: (403) 230-2959
Email: info@eckert-psychology.com
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References
Brock, S. (2022, September 7). The Perfect Mother Myth [Audio podcast episode]. In The Good Enough Mother. Dr. Sophie Brock. https://drsophiebrock.com/podcast80
Prenoveau, J. M., Craske, M. G., West, V., Giannakakis, A., Zioga, M., Lehtonen, A., Davies, B., Netsi, E., Cardy, J., Cooper, P., Murray, L., & Stein, A. (2017). Maternal postnatal depression and anxiety and their association with child emotional negativity and behavior problems at two years. Psychological Medicine, 47(14), 2467–2476. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291717000706
