Hello folks! I am currently writing from a very sunny Vancouver (surprisingly no rain)! This week I want to continue our discussion of the first chapter of “90 seconds to a Life You Love.” Yesterday was my last midterm before finals and I am so happy to have some time off to dedicate to this week's discussion. First off, I want to get into the topic of unpleasant feelings, and how they are actually crucial in enhancing and improving your life. Rosenberg states “by moving away from difficult feelings, you actually cut yourself off from emotional information that could help protect or enhance your life” (Rosenberg 17). To break it down, Rosenberg is stressing the importance of feeling your feelings so that you can truly understand why you’re feeling the way you do. Emotions are meant to be felt, and it is a strength, not a weakness to show and process them.
Being able to confront and face unpleasant feelings and thoughts is a sign of immense bravery. For me as a university student, I often deal with unpleasant feelings surrounding school, individuals I would rather not see every day, and so on. If I allowed myself to bury my emotions, then I wouldn’t go to the dining hall for fear of running into an ex (so college, I know), I wouldn’t take risks, which are all things that would lower the quality of my life. This skill of feeling my feelings came after a lot of practice and I want to help individuals understand that they too can learn this skill. This upcoming line from Rosenberg opened my eyes and helped me realize that confidence truly is key: “[t]he essential keys to developing confidence, feeling emotionally strong, and being resilient involve an openness to change, a positive attitude toward pain, a willingness to learn from any experience, and a capacity to experience and express unpleasant feelings (18). That quote truly has helped me in my journey of facing unpleasantness.
This is not to say that I never feel social anxiety or always confront my feelings, but it is to say that each time I do, the closer I come to living a life I truly and utterly love. Next week, I want to talk about the next portion of Rosenberg’s book, “Building the Framework.
Action: Until then, I challenge you to sit down with your feelings once a day this week and reflect on why you feel the way you do, because as Rosenberg states “[t]he more you are able to face the pain you experience, the more capable you become” (18).
Madison is a Psychology Assistant Digital Marketing Assistant at Eckert Centre. She is a university student majoring in psychology at the University of British Columbia. She is our blogger in residence, and we are grateful she is sharing her writing skills along with her mental health journey. May her young wisdom help all of us grow our “Wise Self.” For more information visit www.eckertcentre.com or email our team at email@example.com
Rosenberg, Joan I. 90 Seconds to a Life You Love: How to Master Your Difficult Feelings to
Cultivate Lasting... Confidence, Resilience, and Authenticity. Little Brown Spark, 2020.
Apple Books, https://books.apple.com/us/book/90-seconds-to-a-life-you-