In Chapter Four of Rosenberg’s book “90 Seconds to a Life You Love”, the primary focus is on identifying and overcoming behaviors that weaken our emotional strength (pg. 77). The chapter discusses how constant distractions can lead to more significant issues, including substance abuse. Instead, it is essential to recognize these distractions and consciously choose moment-to-moment experiences in their place. This process is also known as "self-attunement”; a word I have mentioned in prior blogs.
Many people, including myself, often struggle with the fear of losing control. We may try to control every aspect of our lives, from our daily routines, to our relationships, all in an attempt to avoid feeling something we don't really want to feel. This need for control can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety, ultimately leading to emotional exhaustion.
As mentioned in Chapter Four, Dr. Rosenberg explains that the fear of losing control is often rooted in the fear of feeling something uncomfortable or unwanted. However, it is important to recognize that we cannot control everything in life, and that trying to do so will only lead to more stress and anxiety! Instead, we can work on developing our emotional strength by identifying and acknowledging our emotions and learning to accept them without judgment. By doing so, we can begin to let go of the need for control and embrace the present moment.
Whenever I feel utterly overwhelmed and feel control slipping through my fingers, my dad often quotes the AA prayer “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” That is a mantra that has helped me through many difficult circumstances.
This week, challenge yourself to identify and acknowledge any distractions that may be sabotaging your emotional strength. Take a few moments each day to practice self-attunement by focusing on the present moment and choosing experiences that align with your values and goals. By doing so, you can begin to develop your emotional strength and live a more fulfilling life.
For example, if you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through social media during your free time, try setting a timer for 15 minutes and then doing something that aligns with your values and goals, such as going for a walk or reading a book. By taking small steps to prioritize your emotional well-being, you can begin to break the cycle of constant distraction and develop a stronger sense of self-attunement.
I will catch you folks next week as we delve into Chapter Five, and as always, continue our journey on building a life we love one moment at a time!
Madison is a Psychology Assistant; Digital Marketing Assistant at Eckert Centre. She is a university student majoring in psychology at the University of British Columbia. She is our blogger in residence, and we are grateful she is sharing her writing skills along with her mental health journey. May her young wisdom help all of us grow our “Wise Self.” For more information or to book an appointment, visit www.eckertcentre.com or email our team at info@eckert- psychology.com.
Rosenberg, Joan I. 90 Seconds to a Life You Love: How to Master Your Difficult Feelings to Cultivate Lasting... Confidence, Resilience, and Authenticity. Little Brown Spark, 2020. Apple Books, https://books.apple.com/us/book/90-seconds-to-a-life-you-love/id1466751090.
Serenity Prayer. Whatever the original source or wording, Reinhold Niebuhr and A.A. have made the prayer well-known in North America