Welcome to Day 2 of Bully-Proofing Your Child. Today, I’ll highlight some common signs that indicate a child may be targeted by bullies. We’ll also discuss steps you can take—whether you’re a parent or a teacher—to ensure your child’s safety.
Recognizing the Signs of Bullying
When a child says, “I’m being bullied,” it can evoke significant concern, helplessness, and even a fight-or-flight response in parents, teachers, or caregivers. Sometimes, the initial urge is to confront the bully’s parents—but keep in mind that direct confrontation can worsen the situation for the child, so it should be a last resort.
Krazier (2007) identifies several indicators that a child may be a target of bullying:
- Stops playing outside after school
- Asks to be picked up from school
- Loses interest in spending time with old friends
- Suddenly feels “too sick” to go to school
- Avoids talking about the school day
- Comes home looking scuffed up
- Begins doing poorly in school without explanation
Understanding these signs allows you to stay calm and keep your “wise brain” online- meaning you remain emotionally regulated and ready to provide genuine support. A calm, reassuring demeanor signals to your child that you’re a safe person to confide in.
When a child does open up about being bullied, it’s crucial to respond with acceptance and validation of their experiences. This includes challenging common self-blaming beliefs, like “It’s my fault.” Also, avoid dismissive advice such as “Just walk away” or
“Ignore it,” which may leave a child feeling unheard.
Developing an Anti-Bully Action Plan
Creating an Anti-Bully Action Plan can be a key part of helping your child. Krazier (2007) suggests these steps:
1. Build Confidence (Fake It ‘Till You Make It)
Work with your child on posture—shoulders back, head held high, clear speech, and eye contact. This can help them appear more self-assured.
2. Confront Fear and Anxiety: “Name It to Tame It”
Identifying and openly discussing your child’s anxiety is a powerful way to reduce its impact. Focus on your child’s internal self-talk and introduce ideas about growth vs. fixed mindsets.
3. Create and Role-Play a Behavioral Plan
Practice real-life scenarios where your child can demonstrate assertiveness. Encourage them to use confident body language and highlight their strengths when speaking up.
4. Play Out Worst-Case Scenarios
Role-playing worst-case situations helps your child gradually gain confidence in handling various forms of bullying.
5. Debrief
Talk with your child about each school day and any interactions with the bully. Ask what worked, what didn’t, and brainstorm ways to improve. Continue to role-play strategies or techniques.
6. Debrief Again and Seek Help if Needed
If adult intervention becomes necessary, do not hesitate to contact the school or organization where the bullying is occurring. If your child is in danger, call the local police or request to speak to the School Resource Officer.
Looking Ahead
Stay tuned for Day 3, where we’ll discuss actions you can take if you suspect your child is engaging in bullying behavior.
Are you worried you child is engaging in bully type behaviour and don’t know how to prevent it? Are you concerned your child has become a target? Are you wanting to enhance your child’s ability to be assertive and stand up for themselves, or learn how to be assertive without being aggressive? If so, the team at Eckert Psychology & Education Centre is here to guide you and your child on your journey towards assertiveness. Book your initial intake appointment today at www.eckertcentre.com and click the “Book an Appointment” button. You can also email us at info@eckert-psychology.com for more information. Remember, psychology services are covered by most extended health insurance plans.
Kymberley is a Registered Psychologist at Eckert Psychology & Education Centre. In her role, Kymberley provides counseling services for children and youth, parent support counselling, and counselling service for adults with developmental delays. Kymberley is an EMDR-Child Specialist whose practice is Theraplay informed. Kymberley is further trained in attachment-based counselling for children and parents, trauma, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Kymberley’s passion is working with children and those that love them. She believes in their incredible capacity to be resilient when life asks difficult things from them.
Reference:
Krazier, S. (2007). 10 Days to a Bully-Proof Child: The Proven Program to Build Confidence and Stop Bullies for Good. New York, NY: Marlowe & Company.
