Anxiety can feel like it takes over your mind and body -- racing thoughts, tight chest, restless energy, feeling shaky, a constant sense that something’s not quite right. Maybe you’ve tried to reason with it, push it down, or tell yourself to “just relax,” but it keeps coming back.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. As an anxiety therapist in Calgary (and also serving Airdrie, Okotoks, and Cochrane), I meet so many people who think they need to “get rid” of their anxiety. But what if anxiety isn’t the enemy? What if it’s actually a part of you trying, in its own way, to help?

In this post, we’ll explore what anxiety really is, how it connects to your nervous system and brain’s alarm center (the amygdala), and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a new, compassionate way to understand and calm it. You’ll also learn how avoidance can unintentionally fuel anxiety -- and what actually helps you move toward relief.

Anxiety is Your System’s Way of Protecting You

Anxiety isn’t a sign that you’re broken -- it’s a sign that your system is working hard to protect you.

From an IFS perspective, anxiety is showing up in your system as a protective part -- an internal voice or feeling that’s trying to keep you safe. Maybe it’s the part that worries endlessly about what could go wrong, or the one that tenses your body to stay ready for the next challenge.

In IFS, we call these protector parts because they step in to prevent pain or danger, often carrying burdens from earlier experiences. For example:

A planner part might worry constantly to avoid being caught off guard.
A perfectionist part might overwork to avoid criticism or rejection.
A numbing part might distract or withdraw to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

Each of these parts has a good intention – to help you survive, stay safe, or prevent relational disconnection. But over time, they can become overactive, leaving your nervous system stuck in high alert.

Hello Amygdala: Why Your Brain Feels Hijacked

When anxiety takes over, you can thank (and blame) a small part of your brain called the amygdala -- your built-in alarm system.
One of your amygdala’s main jobs is to detect potential danger. When it senses threat, it instantly activates your nervous system’s fight, flight, or freeze response. Your heart races, your muscles tense, and your thoughts start spinning as your body prepares for action.

In modern life, the amygdala often overreacts to emotional threats -- a difficult conversation, financial stressors, or the fear of disappointing someone. Even if the threat isn’t physical, your body responds like it is, with a racing heartbeat, gut pains, sweaty pits, tense muscles, insomnia.

From an IFS viewpoint, your anxious parts often team up with the amygdala. They scan for possible danger, trying to protect you from repeating old pain. But when they stay on guard too long, your system becomes flooded with fear signals, making it hard to rest or think clearly.

The Anxiety Cycle: How Avoidance Keeps You Stuck

When anxiety feels unbearable, it’s natural to avoid the things that trigger it. Maybe you cancel plans, delay decisions, or distract yourself until the feeling passes. That’s your system trying to protect you again.

In IFS, this is another protector strategy -- avoidance, distraction, or numbing. And while it offers temporary relief, it typically reinforces the cycle of anxiety.

Here’s what the anxiety cycle looks like:

Fear Stimulus: Something stirs an anxious part -- an upcoming deadline, a social event, or a heightened tone of voice, etc..
Alarm: The amygdala fires, your body tenses, and anxious thoughts intensify.
Avoidance: Another part steps in to help -- maybe by canceling the event, zoning out scrolling, or staying busy.
Relief: The anxiety temporarily settles.
Reinforcement: The brain learns that avoidance “works,” so next time, anxiety kicks in even faster.

Over time, avoidance teaches your nervous system that the world is unsafe -- shrinking your window of tolerance and strengthening anxiety’s grip.

De-Pathologizing Anxiety: You’re Not Broken

Let’s take a breath here.
There is nothing pathological about your anxiety. It’s not evidence that you’re weak or “too sensitive.”

Anxiety is a natural human response to a world that often feels unsafe and overwhelming. From an IFS lens, it’s a part of you doing its best in the face of stress, trauma, or uncertainty.

When we stop seeing anxiety as the enemy and start seeing it as a protector, something powerful happens. Your relationship with it changes. Instead of fighting it, you can befriend it by validating its presence and listening to its story. Instead of being hijacked by it, you can guide it from your core Self -- the calm, compassionate core YOU inside each one of us.

The Nervous System and the Window of Tolerance

To better understand how anxiety operates, it helps to know about your nervous system’s window of tolerance -- a concept by Dr. Dan Siegel that describes the range of arousal in which we can think, feel, and act effectively.

Green zone (within the window): You feel calm, grounded, and able to connect.
Yellow zone (mild activation): You’re alert, maybe tense, but still mostly grounded.
Red zone (hyperarousal): The body is flooded with energy -- fight, flight, or panic mode.
Blue zone (hypoarousal): The body shuts down -- numbness, disconnection, or exhaustion.

When anxious parts or the amygdala take over, your system can automatically (without your conscious choice) move into the red zone. You lose access to your prefrontal cortex -- the rational part of the brain that helps with perspective and decision-making.
Through anxiety counselling, you can learn to recognize these shifts and use somatic regulation techniques to bring your system back into balance. Over time, your parts learn that it’s safe to relax -- that they don’t have to keep the alarm blaring all the time.

What to Expect from Anxiety Counselling in Calgary

When you begin anxiety counselling, the process is collaborative and paced around your comfort. With an IFS and nervous system lens, we can start by understanding your system -- the unique mix of parts, patterns, and protective strategies you’ve developed over time. Together, we’ll:

Map your anxiety cycle -- identifying triggers, body cues, and coping patterns.
Build skills for emotional regulation and nervous system awareness.
Work on small, achievable behavioural changes to reduce avoidance.
Strengthen your confidence in handling life’s stressors.

There’s no pressure to dive too deep too fast. We work with your system’s readiness, respecting your body’s wisdom. The goal isn’t perfection -- it’s learning to feel safe in your own system again.

Rewiring the Brain for Calm and Connection

Anxiety can feel permanent, but it’s not. The brain has a remarkable capacity for neuroplasticity -- the ability to form new neural pathways of safety and calm.

Through IFS therapy and nervous system regulation, your amygdala learns that not every sensation or thought means danger. Your protectors begin to relax. Your core Self grows stronger and more confident in leading your system back to balance.
Many clients describe the process as a profound homecoming -- learning to soothe and work with their anxiety, rather than fighting against it. They discover that calm isn’t the absence of activation; it’s the presence of inner leadership and trust, connection to yourself and trusted others.

If you’re in Calgary and looking for an anxiety therapist who integrates Internal Family Systems, somatic regulation, and nervous system education, I would be honoured to support you. Together, we can help your system find safety again -- from the inside out.
You are not your anxiety. You can turn toward it, listen to it, and learn how to soothe it.

Why Choose Eckert Centre?

Wrap-around family care– from pregnancy to teens & adults
Expert anxiety support
Multiple trauma-informed approaches including Internal family systems, EMDR, Havening
Safe, non-judgmental space

We offer free 15 minute consultations and in-person counselling sessions in Calgary, as well as secure online therapy anywhere in Alberta, including Airdrie, Cochrane, and Okotoks.
(403) 230-2959 | info@eckert-psychology.com | Book Online

Anxiety FAQ

How do I know if what I’m feeling is anxiety?
Anxiety often shows up as racing thoughts, physical tension, restlessness, or constant “what if” thinking. It can feel like your body and mind are on high alert, even if it seems like nothing is wrong. If these feelings are persistent or interfere with daily life, it may be time to explore anxiety counselling.

What causes anxiety?
Anxiety can develop from many factors — stress, genetics, past experiences, or even a nervous system that’s been on overdrive for too long. From an Internal Family Systems perspective, anxiety comes from protective parts that are trying to prevent pain or danger, even if their methods cause distress.

Can counselling really help with anxiety?
Yes. Approaches like Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic regulation, and nervous system education help you understand and calm your anxiety rather than fight it. Counselling therapy can teach you how to regulate your body, soothe your mind, and build a new relationship with your anxiety.

What’s the difference between normal stress and anxiety?
Stress is typically a short-term response to a specific challenge, while anxiety can linger even when the stressor is gone. Anxiety often brings physical symptoms — racing heart, tight chest, difficulty concentrating — and can make it hard to relax or feel safe in your own body.

What can I do right now to calm anxiety?
Try grounding yourself in the present moment:

Take a slow exhale that’s longer than your inhale.
Feel your feet on the floor and notice 5 things you see around you and 5 sounds you hear.

Remind yourself, “A part of me is anxious, but I am here, and I am safe right now.”
These small steps teach your nervous system that it’s safe to settle — a key part of healing.

References
Dana, D. (2021). Anchored: How to befriend your nervous system using polyvagal theory. Sounds True.
Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No bad parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems model. Sounds True.
Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2018). The yes brain: How to cultivate courage, curiosity, and resilience in your child. Bantam.