“I didn’t think it would feel like this…”

Many new moms search for answers when they feel sad, anxious, or disconnected after birth — sometimes wondering if it’s postpartum depression, anxiety, or simply the normal struggles of adjusting. You may have envisioned these early days of motherhood in vivid detail: the tiny clothes neatly folded in drawers, the soft scent of newborn skin, and cozy evenings filled with warmth and family closeness. Yet now, as you find yourself in the quiet hours of a 3 a.m. feeding or glancing around at dishes that never seem to get done, the reality may feel very different. You might even feel lonely in your marriage or notice new tension with your partner — a common challenge for couples after having a baby.

If this resonates, I want to pause and tell you something important: you are not alone. Many new mothers find themselves caught between the picture they imagined and the reality they’re living. It isn’t about loving your baby less. Rather, it’s about how the demands, the exhaustion, and the unexpected changes in your relationships can feel far heavier than you could have prepared for. If you’re in Calgary, Airdrie, or Cochrane, know that postpartum counselling and couples therapy are available at our clinic to help you navigate these feelings and strengthen your relationship.

Motherhood is often described as beautiful and transformative — and it is. But it is also messy, overwhelming, and sometimes lonely. Naming these truths with honesty and compassion is the first step in finding hope in the unexpected. Whether you’re searching for postpartum depression support, anxiety therapy, or help rebuilding connection in your marriage after baby, compassionate help is available.

Postpartum Emotions No One Talks About

Research shows that up to 80% of new mothers experience the “baby blues,” and about 1 in 7 develop postpartum depression. These numbers are important, but they don’t fully capture the quieter experiences many women face. Beyond the baby blues, many women feel sadness, irritability, or anxiety that doesn’t fit the picture they imagined. Beyond diagnoses and labels, there is a kind of hidden grief that comes with motherhood: grief for your old routines, your independence, or even the romantic vision of how this season “should” look.

You may have believed you would slip naturally into your role as a mother, only to discover that you feel unsteady, unsure, or even disconnected. Perhaps you long for your pre-baby identity or wonder when you’ll feel like “yourself” again. Maybe you feel guilty because you don’t enjoy every moment, despite what others told you.

In therapy, new moms often share experiences such as:

Feeling emotionally distant from their partner
Missing independence and old parts of themselves
Carrying guilt or shame for struggling
Feeling lonely, even while surrounded by family

These feelings do not mean you are failing. They mean you are human, navigating one of the most profound transitions of your life. Motherhood shifts your body, your mind, your relationships, and your sense of self—all at once. No one is meant to carry that weight without support.

Why Marriage Often Feels Strained After a Baby

When a baby arrives, life changes for everyone. The arrival of your child brings joy, but it also reshapes the foundation of your marriage. Couples often find themselves moving from being partners to being co-parents, with energy and attention directed toward the baby rather than one another. Marriage after baby is challenging for most couples. Communication, intimacy, and connection can suffer when exhaustion takes over.

The Gottman Institute has found that 67% of couples report a decline in relationship satisfaction in the first three years after a baby is born. That statistic may feel discouraging, but it’s also a reminder that what you are experiencing is common and not a reflection of personal failure.

Some challenges couples share include:

Communication struggles: exhaustion makes conversations shorter, sharper, or less frequent.
Shifts in intimacy: physical recovery, hormonal changes, and fatigue make closeness harder.
Resentment or imbalance: one partner may feel unseen, particularly if traditional roles fall into place without discussion.

None of this means your marriage is broken. It means it needs care and intention, just like your baby does. Relationships thrive when couples take time—even small pockets of it—to check in, share their inner worlds, and remind each other that they are more than just “mom” or “dad.”

Couples counselling is a place to prioritize each other and give your relationship the support it needs.

When to Consider Therapy for Postpartum Depression or Anxiety

One of the most powerful truths of motherhood is also one of the hardest to live out: you are not meant to do this alone. Our culture often emphasizes independence and resilience, but motherhood calls us back to connection.

From a spiritual perspective, this is not a surprise. In Matthew 11:28, Jesus extends the invitation: “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” This verse isn’t about striving harder or getting everything right—it’s about releasing the impossible expectation of doing it all on your own. One of the unique offers here at Eckert Centre is faith based counselling for moms; we integrate your beliefs and practices with evidence based counselling.

Rest may not mean a full night’s sleep right now, but it can mean leaning on your community, your faith, or a supportive professional. Healing begins when you allow yourself to be seen in your struggle, without shame.

At Eckert Centre, we believe that when mothers are supported, families thrive. That’s why we offer counselling for women who are navigating the emotional and relational complexities of this season. Counselling can help when sadness lasts beyond two weeks, when anxiety keeps you from resting, or when your marriage feels distant. Whether through individual therapy or couples support, our goal is to walk alongside you with compassion, helping you feel grounded and reconnected.

Finding Hope and Support in Calgary

At Eckert Psychology & Education Centre, we offer therapy for new moms and couples in Calgary, Airdrie, and Cochrane — in person or online across Alberta. If motherhood and marriage feel harder than you imagined, take heart: this season, while stretching, is also shaping you. It doesn’t mean you’ll always feel stuck in exhaustion or disconnection. With support, you can rediscover your sense of self, strengthen your relationship, and learn new ways of coping with the challenges that arise.

Here are some gentle steps to consider:

Name what you feel: Give yourself permission to be honest. You don’t need to love every moment to be a good mom.
Ask for help: Whether from a friend, a partner, or a professional, receiving support is a sign of strength.
Carve out small moments with your partner: Even 10 minutes of intentional conversation can nurture connection.
Reach out for therapy: Sometimes, talking with a professional who understands postpartum transitions is the most healing step.

These small but powerful steps can begin to restore hope, reminding you that you are not failing—you are simply in the process of becoming.

You Are Not Alone

If you find yourself struggling, please know this: you are not weak, broken, or inadequate. You are a mother in the midst of a profound transformation, and it is okay if it feels harder than you imagined. Every mother’s journey looks different, and yours does not need to match anyone else’s to be meaningful and real.

At Eckert Psychology & Education Centre, we walk with mothers, couples, and families through these tender seasons of change. Whether you are facing postpartum challenges, relationship tension, or simply the weight of overwhelm, you do not need to navigate it by yourself. Compassionate support is available, and it can make all the difference.

Schedule a Free Consultation Today

We provide counselling for children, teens, adults, couples, and families—always with the goal of fostering hope, healing, and connection.

If you are ready to take the next step, we are here to walk with you.

Call Us: (403) 230-2959
Email: info@eckert-psychology.com