Are you feeling overwhelmed in your parenting? Spending time envisioning a better future can renew your hope and find a path forward.

So what do you hope for? You may want:

Your children to be less disrespectful
Your children to be more responsible
Your family to stop constant arguing

Think about what you want instead, in positive terms. What do you want to see more of?

A loving relationship with my children
A happy family
A peaceful family
A stronger connection to each other

Take some time to think back in the past when you have experienced these things in your family. If you want something now, you’ve experienced at least some of it before.

When my kids were little, we spent time playing games and laughing together
When my daughter needs support, she will spend more time talking to me
When we are relaxed in the summer, we aren’t arguing as much

Take time to recall, how that was possible. What were the strengths and resources you brought to your family relationship at the time?

I had individual time with my children
I had a balance or work and family to be able to spend more time at home
I took time for sit-down dinners
I was exercising and had more energy for the kids
My parents always listened to what I had to say and made me feel loved

Now think about what would you notice if you wake up tomorrow and you have the kind of family relationship that you hope for? In exploring this question, parents can have a virtual reality experience where parenting is positive even amid struggles. Imagining a positive future can restore the hope you may have lost. Hope creates possibilities and sparks change. So when you wake up on this day that you find your hoped for future is a reality, what would you notice?

I notice it’s quiet in the house because my kids are still sleeping
I take time to talk to my partner in the morning because I’m not worried about the kids
My son starts the day with a smile on his face
My daughter spends more time at the breakfast table just to talk

Keep building your ideas of this day. The more you can put details in the sketch of this preferred future, and knowing your strengths and resources, you will begin to see possibilities for this future to become a reality. The more you describe this future in all it’s small details (even down to the type of cereal you will be eating), the more likely your actions will start to move towards this preferred future in real time. Trust me, this really works!

No matter what the problem you are facing as parents, thinking about it from a solution focused lens can help to see a real and manageable path forward that fits within your family, and draws from the strengths, wisdom, and resources you already have for positive change.

This may still feel impossible right now, but I’ve helped many parents just like you. I’m ready if you are!

At Eckert Centre, individual therapy for all ages is available along with parenting therapy, family therapy, and couples counselling. Visit https://eckertpsychology.janeapp.com/ to book your New Client Initial Intake Session or a free consultation call with one of our team members.

Harriet Johnston is a Registered Psychologist at Eckert Psychology & Education Centre. Harriet holds a PhD in Psychology/Neuroscience. Harriet’s primary Counselling approach is using Solution Focused Therapy in supporting individuals, couples, and families to realize their best hopes. She is also one of our team’s lead assessment providers, providing psychoeducational and mental health evaluations. She also provides academic counselling to students of all ages including those with learning disabilities, ADHD, ASD, and/or gifted abilities.