Lately, I’ve noticed a sad but common theme: very few of my clients feel comfortable validating their emotions. Many of us grew up in environments where expressing feelings wasn’t safe, welcomed, or modeled well. Over time, this can lead to unhealthy expressions of emotion. Then, when our reactions feel messy or overwhelming, we end up villainizing not just our behaviors but the emotions themselves.
For Christians, there’s often an added layer of complexity: a fear that God or others won’t accept us if we admit what we’re really feeling. This can breed shame, self-criticism, and even animosity toward our own emotional experience. Instead of learning from our feelings, we suppress them. But suppression doesn’t make emotions disappear—they linger, intensify, and eventually erupt, often in ways we later regret. Cue embarrassment, guilt, or shame.
Here’s the truth: God already knows the emotions you’re trying to deny. He made your limbic system. He knows how deeply you feel. What if we stopped fearing the emotions themselves, and instead started validating them and processing them with God? What if we recognized that emotions are messengers—signaling a need or pointing us toward growth? When we bring those needs honestly before God, we increase the chances of responding in ways that are adaptive, wise, and Spirit-led.
Science: What our brains tell us about emotions
Neuroscience tells us that emotions aren’t random; they are biologically rooted signals. The limbic system, including the amygdala, hippocampus, and hypothalamus—helps regulate our emotions and memory. Emotional states like anxiety, stress, or joy directly influence our decision-making and relationships. In other words, your emotions are not accidents, they are information.
Suppressing them doesn’t erase the signal; it only makes it louder and harder to manage. This is where Faith Based Christian Counselling can help.
Biblical affirmation: God welcomes our feelings
The Bible doesn’t shy away from emotion. It portrays it honestly and compassionately.
- Jesus wept (John 11:35), showing us that grief is not weakness but love expressed.
- Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh… a time to mourn and a time to dance” (Ecc. 3:4)—that emotions come in seasons and each has its place.
- The Psalms are filled with raw prayers of sorrow, joy, anger, hope, and praise. They reveal that expressing our hearts—even the messy parts—can draw us closer to God rather than push us away.
- Scripture even points us toward life-giving emotions like joy, peace, reverence, and love, reminding us that our inner lives were meant to be shaped and shared, not hidden.
At the same time, the Bible is honest about what can happen when certain emotions are left unchecked. Feelings like anger, jealousy, pride, or fear can overflow into words or actions that wound others and distance us from love. For example:
- Anger can turn into resentment or violence.
- Jealousy can erode relationships.
- Pride can isolate us from others.
- Worry can consume our energy and overshadow trust.
The invitation isn’t to suppress these feelings but to bring them honestly before God. He understands them already. He created the very system in your brain that experiences them. When we share our emotions with Him, we create space for His wisdom to guide us toward responses rooted in love, rather than reactions that cause harm.
In short: emotions are part of being human. They are not signs of failure, but invitations to connection—with ourselves, with others, and with God. The real danger isn’t in feeling deeply; it’s in letting emotions rule us in ways that pull us away from love.
A gentle framework for emotional validation
So, instead of fearing emotions, we can engage them as signals of deeper needs. Here’s one way to practice:
Step 1: Notice the emotion
“I feel anxious.”
Step 2: Pray and ask God for help
“Lord, I’m feeling anxious—please help me see what’s underneath this.”
Step 3: Look for the message
“I’m feeling worried because I don’t feel secure at work right now. This shows me my need for stability.”
Step 4: Acknowledge the feeling without judgment
“It makes sense I feel anxious—job uncertainty is stressful.”
“Lots of people struggle with this when work feels shaky. I’m not alone in this.”
Step 5: Address the emotion message
“God says He is my refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1). My job matters, but it’s not the whole story of who I am. Even if this role changes, my worth doesn’t. I’ll make a list of what I can control today, then pray over what I can’t.”
Faith and the brain: Research insights
A 2025 systematic review found that Christian prayer activates neural patterns similar to attachment and social connection. This suggests that prayer may regulate emotions through the same networks that help us feel safe with others. Spiritually and scientifically, emotions invite us toward connection with ourselves, God, and others.
Final Reflections
You are a beautifully designed being—physiologically and spiritually. Emotions are part of your God-given architecture. They’re invitations to healing, growth, and connection with God and others.
So next time sadness, fear, or frustration rises, pause. Don’t rush to suppress it. Ask: What is this emotion telling me? What need
is it signaling? How can I bring this to God?
Validating emotions doesn’t mean indulging them. It means respecting them as part of your design and letting God guide your response. That shift can transform fear of “sinning by feeling” into freedom to walk more honestly, humbly, and adaptively with Christ.
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References:
American Psychological Association. (2025). Emotions and behavior: Understanding the role of the limbic system. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2025/04/limbic-system-emotions
Cleveland Clinic. (2024, April 6). Limbic system: What it is, function, parts & location. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/limbic-system
Cleveland Clinic. (2024, May 14). Hippocampus: What it is, function, location & damage. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/hippocampus
Cleveland Clinic. (2024, July 24). What part of the brain controls emotions?. https://www.healthline.com/health/what-part-of-the-brain-controls-emotions
Frontiers in Psychology. (2025). The convergent neuroscience of Christian prayer and attachment. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1569514/full
Healthline. (2018, July 24). What part of the brain controls emotions?. https://www.healthline.com/health/what-part-of-the-brain-controls-emotions
Verywell Mind. (2023, October 12). The role of the amygdala in human behavior and emotion. https://www.verywellmind.com/the-role-of-the-amygdala-in-human-behavior-and-emotion-7499223
Verywell Mind. (2023, October 12). What happens during an amygdala hijack?. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-happens-during-an-amygdala-hijack-4165944
Verywell Mind. (2023, October 12). This is your brain on anxiety. https://www.verywellmind.com/this-is-your-brain-on-anxiety-8733665
Verywell Mind. (2023, October 12). What happens in your brain when you're angry. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-happens-in-your-brain-when-youre-angry-8753372
Verywell Mind. (2023, October 12). Limbic resonance: How emotions sync between people. https://www.verywellmind.com/limbic-resonance-8639765
